Gender Dress Code Drama

Spring Break is over, went back to school today. I was in a dour mood all day, and the last half of yesterday. Because the subject of formal events came up and I'm actually not allowed to go to any unless I wear a dress. It started when Aunt Fifi (we were at the park yesterday, family outing) said that my eldest cousin was going to a wedding for friends of hers and that I could go. I said "Okay, but I have to go buy a tux first." then she said "Uh...youre going to be wearing a dress. Its a wedding, so you need to be presentable." I said "No, I dont wear dresses." She said "Well, I guess its not worth going then." I wanted to go to the wedding, because I've only been to one when I was little and I dont really remember it, and I just wanna see what a wedding is like. And itd be nice to dance with some people too. So, this was jarring after an extremely pleasant day of napping on the grass, and I brought it up with my dad to see what he thought of his sister imposing dressing restrictions on me. He says I need to wear a dress! No support there!
This made me furious. Later in the car prom came up, and I told my Dad, "Hey we need to all get suits." He said "Who's we?" "Well, you and me." (my brother has no need of one yet) "No, you need a dress." What the fuck?! When the hell did I get transported back to the fifties? So I went on to ask why the hell everyone's trying to make me wear dresses all of a sudden.
Then my Dad launches into this speech about making first imppressions and how people judge you on your appearance a=because thats all they have and how if I wear a man's suit instead of a woam's suit and skirt everyone will think Im poor and dont even realize I'm wearing a mans suit (its on purpose! and it also tailored to fit my body) and I dont have the good taste to pick out a woman's suit. And that I have to wear dresses to formal events because I have to present myself properly. And said my school wouldnt let me go to prom in a suit (which isnt true, a friend of mine has done it twice with no complications, they just want you to dress nicely, they dont care pants or skirt, and Im much more formal in day to day dress anyways than most of my peers, so my dad telling me Im not presentable is ridiculous).
Bottom line: If I dont wear a dress, I cant go to prom (or anything else formal), this year or next. My friends are pissed. I'm pissed. Im hoping I can change his mind, or that my psychiatrist (which I think I'll start seeing in May, i hope) can. Parents will listen to doctors, but not thier children. Im used to this. Im not giving in on this one, my friends say to just change when I get there, but I refuse to touch a dress. Its about the principle this time. Usually I'd be more than happy to take the loop hole, and I know it would be easier and that ultimately I'd get my way and my prom- but I have something to prove.
Im so angry, and i hate feeling like this- Dad doesnt understand! Him and Fifi just assume shit about me- and its so fucking stupid! I try to expalin things but they assume something totally off the mark.
Fifi, for some reason, always wants to talk about Ray. Even though she knows Dad has banned me from contacting him. "Have you talked to Ray?" I said "No."
"Its okay, Arielle." She leans towards me, slipping into confidant mode. "You can be honest with me. I'm not gonna tell your Dad."
"No, I havent talked to him. I dont want to talk to him." I'm already annoyed.
She's shocked of course, she raises an eyebrow, as if she doesnt believe I could really mean that.
"That's not very nice to say; why? Wasnt he nice?"
Im thinking, whats nice got to do with it? She hasnt stopped talking, which is why I havent said anything, which is why she assumes stuff, because she doesnt wait for explanations. She continues: "I dont understand. I thought you said you wanted to marry him, isnt that right? I guess he wasnt so great. You know, Arielle, when you find a guy you like you need to make sure that you wanna spend time with him. Its okay, you can tell me when you like a guy, its not always easy...." and on and on.
First, to Ray's credit, and for any ladies out there looking for a man to provide for them: Ray is a nice guy, he is a good man. He has his emotional baggage like the rest of us, and he needs a special lady to keep him motivated and to make him feel loved and valueable.
I say this because everyone I've told that Im done with him, the first thing they say is:
What did he do?
Oh, did he show his true colors?
I thought he was such a nice guy....
Why does everyone assume it was his fault? I'll talk more about him in another post. It's just stupid.
Anyways, my family is trying to get me to conform to female ways, and its driving me crazy. I dont know what to do or if I can do anything, I cant focus on my school work its got me so ticked off (as evidenced by this long blog post -__-). Why are they doing this all of a sudden, they never felt the need to before....is it because I'm being blantant about my non-feminimity with my short hair, and declaration of male attire and past-times? I just feel like Im gonna blow up.
Dad says he loves me, but he doesnt know who I am, and hes rejecting who I am by oppressing my expression of what's natural to me.
I cantwait till Im 18, then I dont have to obey anymore! What cruel laws have made us all slaves to such dominating and self-righteous masters!